Are My Sites Up Personal Edition
Website monitoring for people, using people...by people. Because what could be more personal than people?!
Are you tired of trusting computers with more and more of your digital life? Do you not trust that our servers will tell you when your servers aren't working, because they're probably all working together to take over the world?
Ever wanted to hear from a human being about your site outages, instead of finding yourself in the cold, passionless embrace of an email or text message? Someone who will sympathize with you about your website's disappearance from the internet?
Now, we have a plan for you.
Introducing Are My Sites Up Personal Edition. For the low low price of only $3,333 a month, you'll have 2 humans on your side, who will take shifts and reload your website, and only your website... All day, every day.
If your website goes down, they'll call you personally and be a great friend to you, helping you through your time of grief, talking to you and offering words of comfort while you get your website back online. After all, it's the only website they'll have access to, so it's in their best interest to get it back online as quickly as possible!
Interested? Call Richard at 1-888-APR-FOOLS, and he'll get you all set up!
ORRRRRRRR... Check out our other plans!
